The Nine Planes of Parsnip
Welcome to the Nine Planes of Parsnip
Wherein the Condemned Find Solace
in the Form of Starch

Whilst rooting about in the frozen waste of my winter garden, I stumbled upon a delectable treat of unearthly splendor, and was inspired to erect a monument honoring it's majesty.

This is that monument: an atlas of the Forbidden Planes of Parsnip, heretofore hidden from the minds of men. It is my intent to take you, Most Noble Visitor, on a wondrous journey, sharing what I know of the terrors, wonders, joys and great sadnesses that lurk within each of the Nine Realms.

BEWARE of the secrets I am about to reveal; they are meant only for the wise. Those who are unaware of the wonders of the mighty Parsnip must DARE NOT TREAD the Nine Steps least they risk the corruption of their very souls...

Let us begin...

  1. The Realms that See Light
  1. Wondrous Chaos and Illumination, i.e. the Choosing
  2. The Pinch
  3. Scrounger
  4. Fulminous Sugars
  5. The Meat
  6. Distraction
  7. Here be Starches
  8. Where the Path Splits
  9. The Beginning and the End
    (Including the fabled "Appendix")

Please make your selection; your guide awaits your decision. Nothing is forbidden...though this might change.

If you wish to become one of the Friends of the Forbidden Parsnip (or are already and have something else to say), please feel free to travel here.

© 2001 by The Brainmole, Curator of the Forbidden Parsnip and Traveler of the Nine Planes